As artists, whenever we do something that’s in alignment with our purpose, with our dream, we get a high.
Whenever I get lost in a project, whether it’s alone or collaborating with others, I feel so damn good. Time flies, the mind is quick and alert, the body feels light and flexible, and my Spirit is ‘up’. Then, when it’s all said and done, I notice an itch I can’t seem to scratch. Sometimes, there’s even a change in my mood. Every second feels like eternity, the mind is scattered and overwhelmed, the body feels heavy and tight, and my Spirit is ‘down’.
I’m coming down. The crash.
All I want is to feel good and alive again. Will eating this food or drinking this drink make me feel that again? Will watching this movie make me feel that again? Will hanging out with this person make me feel that again? Will buying something make me feel that again? Will surfing the web make me feel that again? Will smoking this make me feel that again?
The crash feels wrong so I’ll do whatever it takes for a little pick-me-up.
The crash isn’t wrong. In fact, it’s necessary. Our natural state is neutral. Not excited, and not depressed. Neutral. As much as we’d like, we are not meant to stay excited. Nor are we meant to stay depressed. Neither are sustainable. Both exert too much energy and the Law of Conservation Of Energy, our Higher Selves, our Intuition, and our bodies are always seeking balance for ourselves, within ourselves. It will do what it needs to recalibrate.
Allow yourself to do so. Allow yourself to balance out again.
But, balance can only take place once you have gone to the extremes. There’s no way around it. And life will surely help you with this. It will give you many opportunities…or problems. However you want to look at it. Go to the extremes, without judgment. There’s no doing it right or getting it right. Just being, just living. As a recovering perfectionist, I’m learning this every day.
And do your best to feel the void, and not fill the void. Nothing is good or bad, it just is. Acceptance of reality is the best route to personal peace. Trust and breathe.
So, can you simply observe and accept ‘the crash’ as Nature’s wonderful way of working with you and for you?
Nature’s been around a long long time…I think She knows what she’s doing. Don’t you?
Alexandra Choi is an actress, producer, and blogger living in Los Angeles.